The ocean

I wish life was as simple as the ocean. With every wave it erases everything. I wrote my name in the sand. Then a wave came and washed it away. You ever make a mistake and wish the wave would just erase it? I have done things in my life I am not proud of. It would take a flood to ease some of them.

Have you ever been in the ocean and have the waves beat you down. You try to stand and they just keeping knocking you down. That sums up my life. Some times there is a calm in ocean. I can stand freely and feel safe. Knowing at any point a big wave may come and knock me over.

No matter how many times the waves knock me over. I still try to stand back up. I no if I keep standing that eventually they will calm down again.

It’s when the big waves come and knock you down. You don’t try to stand back up is when there is a problem. If you stop fighting the waves. The ocean will win. It will take you away and you will be washed away.

You may feel like that is the best plan. It’s not! The ocean wants you to fight! Even though the ocean will never erase your mistakes. If the ocean is to rough just stand out and watch it for awhile. Let the waves pound the earth. Until your ready to deal with it.

Eventually you will be strong enough to handle even the big waves. Don’t fight so hard on the small waves save your energy for the big ones.

The best thing there are always people fighting the same waves. Some times it can make it easier to fight them together instead of alone.

Today I don’t feel like fighting the waves. Today I am just going to sit and watch them. Knowing I can’t always just sit and watch. I will have to get in and fight the waves. Hopefully there isn’t any big storms coming. So I can just relax and enjoy the the little waves for now………

Run Kitty

I woke up. It felt odd in the house, and I have no idea why? I came down the stairs to see that he left the door open. Odd! Why would he do that? He always told me to stay in where it’s safe. Now the door is wide open, knowing I will walk out of it…So out I go. I ran around like a silly kitty. I found some friends and hung out with them. I was just wondering when he was going to come get me. But he never came.

I started to get hungry and sleepy. I walked for a while and realized it must have been days! I had seen that big bright thing in the sky at least 3 times. OMG! I can smell you! I must be close to home. Thank God! I am starving and lonely. I miss you I want you to pet me. I want to fall asleep on your chest. Oh, how I can’t wait to be back with you. I will never run out that damn door again.

This was the house, but you weren’t there! None of our stuff…nothing! Where are you? What did I do? I am so sorry for running out the door. Please come back for me. I will never ever run away again, I promise. I will never wake you up, or keep you up again. I promise! just come back. I am hungry!!!! I start running through the house in a panic. I see someone…not you.

He is reading something (this is what the note read), “Dear new owner, I had to disappear. I could not take my cat. She is going to be sad and mad. She may hiss at you, but she is really a sweet kitty, once she gets to know you. She will trust you and stay loyal. She will never run away. She loves to sleep on my chest. She is needy and she gets hungry a lot. I left her favorite food on the counter. When you are done reading this. Say, “Jasmin you are safe with me.” Make sure you say “Jasmin” then she will know it’s from me. I will come back from time to time to check on her from distance. She will never trust me again, so no worries; I will never take her away from you. Please take care of Jasmin and tell her I will love her forever. I just had to go.”

He looked at me and said, “Jasmin, you are safe.” Wait did he just call me Jasmin? OMG! Did he leave me???? Now I have to deal with this person. How will he know how to pet me, and how to feed me. How could he think he could just send someone else to take his place. So I took off and ran! I want to find you. I will run for years until I find you. I don’t want just anyone; I want you!

Well, Okay! I am hungry so I walk back and somehow he has the same food. Of course I hiss at him. But I do eat the food he left me. I guess I will sleep on this bed since it’s here. I still want you. He can hear me crying for you. He says, “My poor Jasmin, I know how it feels to be abandoned and I am not taking his place. I just want to help you make it through this. I realize I am not him. I will never leave you. If I leave you, come with me, ok? Until then, let’s just enjoy each other while we are both missing someone.”

Still crying, I fell asleep that night and many more. I loved to sleep because that’s when I got to see you. I miss you so much……..

If cats could cry

If cats could cry, my whiskers would soaked with tears. The other night when you were crying, I licked your tears away. Wishing I could also cry. I finally found a safe place to stay; a place I would love to call home. All you say is you can’t wait to leave. You don’t have to leave me, but you choose to. Why do you still hold me and tell me you miss me while your gone? I have never done any thing wrong. All I did was let you play with me. I purr the minute I see you. I never want morning to come. With each night that passes, you get closer and closer to leaving me. Don’t you worry that someone might take me? What if I get lost and starve to death? How could you just leave me, and not care?

I know there is another cat waiting for you there. She won’t be anything like me. I am the best cat out there, and you have me. You’re just going throw me out and leave? Why??!? What on earth did I do so wrong? I look at you with sad eyes. I love you and I don’t want you to go. All I can do is show you. If cats could cry…..

Fight For Me!

That’s all I ever wanted was someone to fight for me! Choose me! Love me! Pick me! No one ever fights for me; they just leave me! They walk away without a fight. I am never the one!

The movie My Best Friend’s Wedding comes to mind, when she calls her best friend, and she is asking, “Who is chasing who? and what is going on?” Her best friend asks, “Well, who is chasing you?” No one was. She only realized it, after he said it. She could just pull over, and no one would care. She was the one chasing them; they were not chasing her.

Will I ever find it? Most likely not. Just like everyone has given up fighting for me, I have given up looking for someone. I won’t even put up a fight when you leave me. When I see someone fighting so hard to keep someone happy, I think how nice it would be just to have one person in my life fight for me like that.

Just like every rose has its thorns, just like every cowboy singes a sad. sad song, life will move on. I remember my uncle telling me a story about swans, how when they mate they stay together, forever. If one of them passes away, the one swan will live alone for the rest of their life. I remember thinking, “How beautiful and sad is that?” Maybe I am like a swan? Maybe I had my mate and now I am alone? Alone I will stay forever. As I aleays say, nothing is forever, except death.

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