Play Kitty

I never realized how much I love to play. I just love to play with everything. I just don’t like to be played with. I want to play on my terms. When you play with me and I get happy, then you just stop, I might bite you.

I don’t mean any harm, I just want your attention. I want you to realize that playing with me might be fun. You should just leave me alone until I am ready to play again.

I am so happy you got to have fun with me when I was just a kitten. Now that I am older I don’t like to play as much. I am so glad I got to entertain you. I know at some point I made you happy. You still love me, but I am just not that fun anymore.

I worry at some point if you will go find a new kitten to play with. I just hope you don’t get rid of me. I am glad I got you through a rough time in life. It just seems like you need something else. I try to play more, and try to love you more. You just seems like you don’t want to play with me anymore. Maybe it’s better if I just run away. That way you won’t have to worry about me anymore. I don’t want to stay with someone who wants something else. I didn’t realize you wanted just to play with me for a short time. I didn’t realize you just wanted to play.

I will go away now. Don’t worry about me. I will see who else wants to play with me.

Don’t look for me. I don’t want to play anymore. Not now not for awhile.

I cut my paw on some glass you broke. So it hurts when I play right now. I am sure in time my paw will heal. I will go on and play, in time. I hope you find your forever kitten that loves to play. I am sorry I could not be your forever kitty…….

Run Kitty

I woke up. It felt odd in the house, and I have no idea why? I came down the stairs to see that he left the door open. Odd! Why would he do that? He always told me to stay in where it’s safe. Now the door is wide open, knowing I will walk out of it…So out I go. I ran around like a silly kitty. I found some friends and hung out with them. I was just wondering when he was going to come get me. But he never came.

I started to get hungry and sleepy. I walked for a while and realized it must have been days! I had seen that big bright thing in the sky at least 3 times. OMG! I can smell you! I must be close to home. Thank God! I am starving and lonely. I miss you I want you to pet me. I want to fall asleep on your chest. Oh, how I can’t wait to be back with you. I will never run out that damn door again.

This was the house, but you weren’t there! None of our stuff…nothing! Where are you? What did I do? I am so sorry for running out the door. Please come back for me. I will never ever run away again, I promise. I will never wake you up, or keep you up again. I promise! just come back. I am hungry!!!! I start running through the house in a panic. I see someone…not you.

He is reading something (this is what the note read), “Dear new owner, I had to disappear. I could not take my cat. She is going to be sad and mad. She may hiss at you, but she is really a sweet kitty, once she gets to know you. She will trust you and stay loyal. She will never run away. She loves to sleep on my chest. She is needy and she gets hungry a lot. I left her favorite food on the counter. When you are done reading this. Say, “Jasmin you are safe with me.” Make sure you say “Jasmin” then she will know it’s from me. I will come back from time to time to check on her from distance. She will never trust me again, so no worries; I will never take her away from you. Please take care of Jasmin and tell her I will love her forever. I just had to go.”

He looked at me and said, “Jasmin, you are safe.” Wait did he just call me Jasmin? OMG! Did he leave me???? Now I have to deal with this person. How will he know how to pet me, and how to feed me. How could he think he could just send someone else to take his place. So I took off and ran! I want to find you. I will run for years until I find you. I don’t want just anyone; I want you!

Well, Okay! I am hungry so I walk back and somehow he has the same food. Of course I hiss at him. But I do eat the food he left me. I guess I will sleep on this bed since it’s here. I still want you. He can hear me crying for you. He says, “My poor Jasmin, I know how it feels to be abandoned and I am not taking his place. I just want to help you make it through this. I realize I am not him. I will never leave you. If I leave you, come with me, ok? Until then, let’s just enjoy each other while we are both missing someone.”

Still crying, I fell asleep that night and many more. I loved to sleep because that’s when I got to see you. I miss you so much……..

What if?

Have you ever wondered what if I didn’t do something, how different would my life be? What was the reason I met this person? Is it fate? Is it just the way it was supposed to be? The night I re-met my, now ex-hubby, I wasn’t even suppose to go out. My friend called me at the last minute and asked me to join him. I remember this so clear, because I have gone over it hundred times in my head. I really didn’t want to go out at all. It was like something in me said that I had to go. I then sat out on my car for an hour, waiting for my friend to come. He was running late because he had car trouble, so it’s odd that I stayed and waited.

He was literally leaving the next week for New York. He had his orders and everything was planned. It all changed after that night.

After that night we will go on to be married for 12 years, have two kids, and many houses.

What if and why? Why did I go? Did someone have plans for us, and we don’t know it? I do not believe we meet people by accident. I believe there is a reason for everything. Sometimes we just have to figure it out…like a puzzle.

This is a story that, until now, I have only shared with close friends. I was working one night, and a guy came to work with me. I instantly felt a connection; one that I have never felt with my husband. Yes, I was still very married, and I just had my youngest he was 4 months old.

He must have felt the connection, too. He smiled at me,  and from there, it was an emotional affair. I was totally ignored by my hubby, because I had just become a wife and mother of kids. The physical and metal abuse was at its all time high.

While the boys were playing,or taking naps, I would find him online we would chat for hours. It had been so long since I felt wanted. I felt excited to go to work, and we would have dinner together. I can not explain the connection I felt with him, but as fast as I met him, it was just as fast as I lost him.

I went to sign onto the computer one day, like have for maybe 6 months. He was offline and offline he will stay. Why???? I now believe he was there to test me; to see how far I would go. Oddly, my ex knew nothing of any of this… nothing at all. But after this, I realized that I did love my husband, well, as much as I ever did. We were strong, and I felt we had busted through a wall that he never even knew was there.

I wonder are we connected to people for a reason? Who has a plan for us and what is the plan? If I never went in to that bar that night, where would I be today? Have I ever came into someones life and changed their world, without even knowing that I did?

Was I ever someones test? Have I ever changed anyone’s path? I sometimes wish I could see the world without me in it, like being able to watch it, just see how I made a difference in this crazy world.

Next time you meet someone think, “Why? Why was this person put in my life?”

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