What kind of cat?

What kind of cat do you want to be? You want to be that cat that sits inside and looks at all the crazy things outside? Do you want to be out chasing all the crazy things? I always thought I wanted to be the cat inside looking at all the crazy. Somehow I got out. Once I started chasing all the crazy stuff. I couldn’t stop! I’ve been out here so long I have forgotten what inside looks like. How it feels just to sit and watch.

I am so tired of chasing things. I see all these cats looking at me threw the widows. I wonder, are they jealous? Well, I am jealous of them. I want to be inside looking out. I want a nice safe place to stay. I’m tired of chasing and running and looking for stuff. I want to be inside, safe from all the crazy. I want someone to bring me food. I want someone to cuddle me at night. I wonder if these cats inside even understand how good they have it. Then you have the perfect cat. The ones that go out and chase all day but have to go back in and get all the inside benefits. They get the best of both worlds.

I was not that lucky to get that life. I was blessed with the energy of struggles. I was always chasing and running from what I had no idea anymore. I hang out with all the Kitty’s that all go home at the end of the day. They stay and play and chase with me. Then they all leave. Until the next day, they will be back. They have no idea how good they have it.

Will you be that cat that travels threw this life alone? Will you be that cat who has someone forever? I’m getting old being out here alone. Chasing gets more challenging every day. So, before you answer, what kind of cat do you want to be? Remember, it could be forever…..

Play Kitty

I never realized how much I love to play. I just love to play with everything. I just don’t like to be played with. I want to play on my terms. When you play with me and I get happy, then you just stop, I might bite you.

I don’t mean any harm, I just want your attention. I want you to realize that playing with me might be fun. You should just leave me alone until I am ready to play again.

I am so happy you got to have fun with me when I was just a kitten. Now that I am older I don’t like to play as much. I am so glad I got to entertain you. I know at some point I made you happy. You still love me, but I am just not that fun anymore.

I worry at some point if you will go find a new kitten to play with. I just hope you don’t get rid of me. I am glad I got you through a rough time in life. It just seems like you need something else. I try to play more, and try to love you more. You just seems like you don’t want to play with me anymore. Maybe it’s better if I just run away. That way you won’t have to worry about me anymore. I don’t want to stay with someone who wants something else. I didn’t realize you wanted just to play with me for a short time. I didn’t realize you just wanted to play.

I will go away now. Don’t worry about me. I will see who else wants to play with me.

Don’t look for me. I don’t want to play anymore. Not now not for awhile.

I cut my paw on some glass you broke. So it hurts when I play right now. I am sure in time my paw will heal. I will go on and play, in time. I hope you find your forever kitten that loves to play. I am sorry I could not be your forever kitty…….

Sleep

I was walking alone in the snow. I also had my dog, Tucker, with me. If you have never walked in the forest right after a fresh snow, you may not understand this. It was the most peaceful thing you could ever imagine. The snow was deep, almost past my knees. Tucker, crazy dog, was hopping through the snow like a crazy person. The trees were covered with snow and the branches were hanging low. If you just stand there, you can’t hear anything but snow falling from trees. There are no tracks; no one has walked here since the fresh snow. I keep walking. My legs become tired. It’s a lot of work to walk through snow, this deep.

It starts snowing again. All I see are trees and white. Tucker is just running around. I decide I need to rest, so I lay down and make a snow angel. I catch some snow flakes on my tongue. I just lay there watching the snow hit my face. It’s so peaceful. I just want to sleep. My fingers and my toes are so cold. I don’t want to stand; it’s just so peaceful.

No one has any idea where I am. I was taking a walk with Tucker. I see it’s starting to get dark. I must get up now. I try to stand but my body just wants to sleep. It’s just so peaceful. No one is talking and there is no sound. I must have fallen asleep. Next thing I knew Tucker was licking my face.

“Ok Baby! It’s time to go.” My body was so cold standing, and I hurt so bad. It’s dark, now. I have no idea where I am. I have no cell phone or anything. I know my boys need to eat, so I must get back. Tucker looks at me like, “Ok let’s go!” I tell him, “Buddy, I am lost. I am just to tired to make it.” I lay back down. At this point tucker lays on me. He must have known I was freezing. His body heat warmed me up enough to get up. I said, “Buddy! Show me how to get home.” He starts walking. Our tracks have been covered by the new snow. I fear I may never make it back home. My husband is, most likely, really mad, because I wasn’t home to make dinner. Did he even try to look for me? Then I become sad. I am a missing person that no one missed. I start to cry. It’s so cold that my tears freeze to my face.

Tucker is now whining at me to say, “Come on! I want to go home.” At least I know that Tucker will never leave me. I feel like I have been walking for hours. I tell Tucker, “Buddy! I can’t go any more. I just need to sleep.”

So I laid down in the snow. I was at peace. I felt warm all over. I felt no pain. My mind was at peace.

The next thing I remember, my husband was standing over me with Tucker. He says, “Julie wake up! The boys and I need you.” I feel cold and pain. I am confused. He makes me stand up and he helps me walk out of the woods.

Tucker had gone back and got my husband, to let him know I was in danger. I made it back home, and took a hot shower and kissed my boys.

The Rain

I was standing there, in the rain, with tears running down my face. I was hoping noone could see them. I was hoping the rain would hide how much pain I felt. My heart hurt, but I did love the storm. I had fun waiting for the storm, but it hit too soon; I usually know when the storm is about to hit. I guess I was just having so much fun, that I forgot to shut the windows.

This storm was different. It was quick but violent. It took out a ton of trees and did so much damage to everything. I usually like to dance in the storms and play in the rain; but not this one. 

This one caused so much damage that I just started to cry. WTF! I am that weak person again. And just like after every other storm, there comes the clean up. I am too tired to clean up after this one, so I just lay down and sleep.

I wake up to feeling the pain again, of what the storm did. The sun is shining now but my eyes are still raining.

I will wake up in the morning and the sun will be shining. I will be happy because God gave me another day. Tomorrow I will feel blessed and happy, but tonight I will cry myself to sleep about the storm. I will walk this earth waiting for the next storm. This time I won’t be weak. I will enjoy the storms and smile in the rain. But I’m not sure how many more storms I can see like this one; it did a lot of damage.

It’s like the song blame it on the rain…

…Rain don’t mind…