No!!!!!!!

A word I have such a hard time saying! How do you tell someone I don’t want you to pick me up! Is it because I’m so little and cute? At first, it’s ok. Can’t you tell I am squirming around? Can you not see I am uncomfortable? Sometimes I will just sit there and deal with it. Then I get annoyed. I yell and scream, and I may even scratch you. I don’t mean it, but I just couldn’t tell you NO! I don’t want to upset you. I know you just want to love on me. You mean no harm. I wish to be left alone. You have to wait for me to want you to pick me up. I can not guarantee that I will. ……

Just because I am out here roaming this world alone doesn’t mean I need you or even want you. Your not my owner, who left me. You can never be him. I may have forgotten how his voice sounded. I may have forgotten how I loved him to hold me. I am 100 percent positive if I ever see him again, he can pick me up. I search for him daily. I go back to the place he left me. He isn’t there. I know people don’t mean to upset me. I just don’t understand why they always want to pick me up! You can talk to me and pet me. Well, not always. Sometimes I wish to be left alone. I know I will walk this world alone unless I change my ways. But I am an old cat, and I don’t see that happening. There are days that I am sad and all I want is someone to pick me up and cuddle me. Those days are usually the days no one is around or cares that I am sad and lonely.

Words I can’t stand. You’re too cute and friendly to be a stray. Why do they assume I don’t like being a stray? I tried the house cat thing. I failed at it and ended back out on the streets. I believe this is where I belong. Why do they assume that I need someone? I mean, I miss the excellent food I used to get. Having to search for food every day gets tiring. I miss the nice comfy bed I would sleep in. Mainly I miss having someone love me. I have gotten catnapped before. They picked me up and brought me in a thing that went fast. It took me days to escape, and when I did, I had no idea where I was. It took me days to get back in my hood. I do have to run away from the pet police. If they get a hold of me, an old kitty like me doesn’t stand a chance to make it out alive. Will I give in one day and be a house kitty again? I guess time will tell. For right now, there are enough Tomcats to keep me happy. So if you see a cute kitty, don’t assume they want you to pick them up. You may say, why not just run away? The truth is profound down, I am really a scared kitty, and I really like attention and miss it so much. When receiving attention, I like it a lot. I know it’s false and short-lived. So I take what I can get for a short about of time.

Bad decisions

Since I was born I was told don’t fall for a “tom’ cat. They are only good for fun. That being said fun they are! How do you know a “Tom” cat is a “Tom” cat. Well first of all if you see him out and about pretty sure he is. If he out all the time he is not domesticated. Some times in life all you want is “Tom” cat. If you want to run around and have some fun then they are perfect for you. Don’t expect him to be there in the morning. He will be out hunting for a new kitty by the time you wake up. 

Now can they become domesticated after running wild for so long? Yes and no. In time they will try to settle down they get tired of running around. Usually that only last a little while.  Some one will leave a door open or a window open and out they go.

They have the chase in them and you can never change that. So when your out having fun and see a “Tom ” cat just remember they are just having fun. Will they ever come back? Sure they will if you feed a stray they alway eventually will come back. They don’t mean no harm. There just out having fun looking for a chase. No matter what they say they will leave in time. So don’t ever fall for a”Tom” cat you will end up getting your heart hurt. 

When cats dream

I love to sleep! It’s when every thing is good. When I sleep you are here with me. We are back in our house and happy. I can even smell you in my sleep. I don’t need for anything. I have every thing I need. I get to lay on that great bed. I can feel you laying next to me.

Then I get woken by another furry thing that barks. So annoying, Not sure why humans like them so much. They are so needy. Maybe that’s what I need to be more needy. There are tons of kittys out here. You don’t see very many dogs. Now this thing wakes me up out of my happy place. Now I have to run because its now chasing me. I run up a big tree. He can’t climb so I am safe. I find a branch and off to sleep I go……

This time my dream is not good. I am searching for you. I can’t find you. You left me again! I can’t even have a good dream any more. I have a hard time remembering you. Soon I will forget your voice then your smell. My dreams won’t be happy any more. I don’t no how long you have been gone. I do no I want to find you. No one can take care of me like you.

Our time was cut short. You just left me one day. Until I can see you again I just hope to see you when I sleep. I hope I never forget you. The only time I feel happy is when I dream……

Just Hug Me!

I just wanted a hug, that’s all. I needed to feel you! You always told me that you would never forget about me. You said that you don’t want to hurt me. I just needed a hug. I had the worst night of my life and I just wanted you!

I know you can’t help me anymore. I am all on my own. I don’t want to be. I just want you back in my life. It’s not fair. I didn’t do anything. How can you just forget about me. Why are you not feeling pain? I can’t do anything right. I try to stay happy, and just try to talk about your future. You get mad at me. I can’t do anything right. I am sorry. I just want you in my life. I want you to like me again. I just want to hug you! I needed you tonight and you would not come. If you only knew how bad I was hurting, maybe you would have come over; most likely not. Your moving on, and could care less about my hurt. You think if you’re mean and shut me out, that I will just move on. It doesn’t work like that. You could just close me out for years; but my heart won’t change.

Run Kitty

I woke up. It felt odd in the house, and I have no idea why? I came down the stairs to see that he left the door open. Odd! Why would he do that? He always told me to stay in where it’s safe. Now the door is wide open, knowing I will walk out of it…So out I go. I ran around like a silly kitty. I found some friends and hung out with them. I was just wondering when he was going to come get me. But he never came.

I started to get hungry and sleepy. I walked for a while and realized it must have been days! I had seen that big bright thing in the sky at least 3 times. OMG! I can smell you! I must be close to home. Thank God! I am starving and lonely. I miss you I want you to pet me. I want to fall asleep on your chest. Oh, how I can’t wait to be back with you. I will never run out that damn door again.

This was the house, but you weren’t there! None of our stuff…nothing! Where are you? What did I do? I am so sorry for running out the door. Please come back for me. I will never ever run away again, I promise. I will never wake you up, or keep you up again. I promise! just come back. I am hungry!!!! I start running through the house in a panic. I see someone…not you.

He is reading something (this is what the note read), “Dear new owner, I had to disappear. I could not take my cat. She is going to be sad and mad. She may hiss at you, but she is really a sweet kitty, once she gets to know you. She will trust you and stay loyal. She will never run away. She loves to sleep on my chest. She is needy and she gets hungry a lot. I left her favorite food on the counter. When you are done reading this. Say, “Jasmin you are safe with me.” Make sure you say “Jasmin” then she will know it’s from me. I will come back from time to time to check on her from distance. She will never trust me again, so no worries; I will never take her away from you. Please take care of Jasmin and tell her I will love her forever. I just had to go.”

He looked at me and said, “Jasmin, you are safe.” Wait did he just call me Jasmin? OMG! Did he leave me???? Now I have to deal with this person. How will he know how to pet me, and how to feed me. How could he think he could just send someone else to take his place. So I took off and ran! I want to find you. I will run for years until I find you. I don’t want just anyone; I want you!

Well, Okay! I am hungry so I walk back and somehow he has the same food. Of course I hiss at him. But I do eat the food he left me. I guess I will sleep on this bed since it’s here. I still want you. He can hear me crying for you. He says, “My poor Jasmin, I know how it feels to be abandoned and I am not taking his place. I just want to help you make it through this. I realize I am not him. I will never leave you. If I leave you, come with me, ok? Until then, let’s just enjoy each other while we are both missing someone.”

Still crying, I fell asleep that night and many more. I loved to sleep because that’s when I got to see you. I miss you so much……..

How????

You say, “Don’t be sad.” How?!? You plan your future without me. But yet, I am laying next to you. With every day of more and more hurt, its like being dead and watching someone plan your funeral.

You say, “Aren’t you happy for me?” Um, No. I am not. How could I be? Your life won’t have me in it. There is nothing making you go; only just to do it. Hurt doesn’t even to begin to explain what I feel. Sad doesn’t either. Knowing you are choosing to leave and plan a future without me; words can’t even explain how it feels.

Maybe I was what you needed; for so long, everyone hurt you. I get to be the person you destroy; you get to be the one this time. I understand I am nothing to you; just someone to pass time along until your dream became a reality. Can I ever forgive you for hurting me like this? No! I can’t. The day you leave will be the last time I see you.

How stupid of me to let my heart heal. You are no different then everyone else. The fact that you’re leaving is one thing, but to plan a whole future without me, is unforgivable.

I am glad I got to be the one. It’s been so long since I felt anything at all. I will enjoy the time we have left, but don’t ask me to be happy for you. I will not throw you a party. I don’t want you to go. Your time is not done here, yet. I hope your life is all, and more than you want. I would never wish you anything less. Just understand what your leaving behind. You’re so busy planing your future, you’re forgetting who is standing next to you…..

If cats could cry

If cats could cry, my whiskers would soaked with tears. The other night when you were crying, I licked your tears away. Wishing I could also cry. I finally found a safe place to stay; a place I would love to call home. All you say is you can’t wait to leave. You don’t have to leave me, but you choose to. Why do you still hold me and tell me you miss me while your gone? I have never done any thing wrong. All I did was let you play with me. I purr the minute I see you. I never want morning to come. With each night that passes, you get closer and closer to leaving me. Don’t you worry that someone might take me? What if I get lost and starve to death? How could you just leave me, and not care?

I know there is another cat waiting for you there. She won’t be anything like me. I am the best cat out there, and you have me. You’re just going throw me out and leave? Why??!? What on earth did I do so wrong? I look at you with sad eyes. I love you and I don’t want you to go. All I can do is show you. If cats could cry…..

Your Last Breath

We cried while holding you. We could tell you were slipping away. I told you, “Just be free baby.” We loved you up to your last breath. My poor son was crying non stop. He thought it was his fault that you had to leave us so early. You can’t speak to us. We tried to always make you happy. We don’t understand why you had to leave us so early. I hope you know that we loved you so much.

I swear the other night I saw you running around. You were always so happy just running in and out of closets. I hope you did not feel pain. If only you could talk we would have known you were sick. I was holding my son as we laid down to rest. I never seen him cry like this before. He loved you with all his heart. Him hurting is making my heart hurt, even worse.

Learning about death is horrible. Watching your son cry is the worst. I can’t fix this. No matter what I do. I can’t bring her back. I hate that you had to go so soon. I hope you know we loved you. Be free baby I hope to see you up in heaven.

Stay

I just want you to stay

I don’t want to go another day

Without you

What do I have to do

Just for you to stay?

I just want you to lay

With me all day

If I told you I loved you

Or am I just a few

Years late

Why did you make me wait?

What can I do to make you stay?

I know one day

You will realize I was the one

Being with you is so fun

What can I do to make you stay?