The other woman

So women always fear “the other woman.”  What happens if you were always the “other woman.” I somehow have fallen into this role most of my life. I became the person people hate. “The other woman.” I’m really not sure why or when it started.  I have been single on my own for so long. I really don’t even remember how it feels to have a partner—someone to share your life with. I must give out that vibe. I’m the fun girl, not the girl they chose long-term. Oddly was like before marriage. I was married for 12 long years. Then I was set free! I fell right back into my role. Always single. Do I like being the other woman? It’s not like I set out looking to be. I guess I kind of like the fact they will never get attached. I still have the freedom to do what I want.

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Maybe it’s the thrill of it. I’m not really sure. I do know why I never trust anyone. I tried finding Mr. Right, but my Mr. Right was someone else’s. That seemed to be the theme of my life. I gave in and decided just go with it. For most of my life, I am just single. Do I fear I will be forever? Yes, for sure. How will life change if it has yet to this far? Will I always be “the other woman”? Or will I find a guy who chooses me? Someone who will see all the love I have to give. Who will see past the damaged heart? Someone who helps me change the path of destruction that I am on. I guess we shall see, but for now, I will continue to live free!

Lies, lies and more lies

Was what we had even real??? I would have to say no. I really thought you were different than all of them. No, no, you weren’t. If not, you were worse. You lied and then lied more. Am I upset? Am I hurt? No, I am actually happy that I wasn’t crazy. I knew all along. Is what you did forgivable no, no, it isn’t. Not at all. You not only lied; you crushed me. You destroyed me! Just to know that you walked away from me just to be someone else. That you destroyed me with no care in the world. Not only did I love you, but you were also my friend! Do I feel better now that I know the truth? Yes, I do. Now I can move on. Realizing I was nothing to you, does it hurt? Yes, it does. Will I recover? Yes, I have already, kind of like putting a puzzle together and not being able to find the last few pieces. Well, I found them. Now I can put it to together and uncover a new mystery.

I wish you all the happens in the world. I love you still like my friend. I will never walk away as a friend. Would I ever trust you with my heart? No! Never! That part of my life with you is over. Do I question the time we spent together? Yes, I do. I hope all the lies were worth it. Not sure what I did in this life never to deserve love but I should if known. I’m like that stray cat that everyone loves till they get to close. I knew who you were when I got involved. It was my bad to think I was special. I knew better then to give you my heart.

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You are free of me and the past. I now know the truth, and now you can move on freely. Maybe someday I will find someone to love me. If not, I will survive. I love myself. Don’t worry about me; I am just fine. Just like the day you left me at the beach. Just to be with someone else. I hope she was worth it. I hope she takes care of you and gives you love that I couldn’t. I feel stupid that I thought you actually loved me. I was nothing but a fling to you. I am sorry for making you carry this lie for so long. I actually feel bad for you. I could never live with that lie. Then again, I could never destroy someone like you did. The lies are over. You are free

I know better!!

I know better don’t fall for a Tom cat! This tom cat is so much different then all the others. They usually run away fast. They never usually return. You always return.

The most kindest Tom cat I have ever met. You seem to find me where ever I show up. You always tell me find your self a good Tom cat. I don’t need any others just you. I think of you often. I know you are busy with a another kitty. You only stray when you can. I do realize that every time you are let out. You always find me! I do realize there are so many others you could be with.

Your on a different level of just the normal Tom cat. You have hung out with all my kitty friends. They have hard time understanding our situation. Some one left open the door. So he ran out. She always comes looking for her kitty. He is only aloud out for a awhile. In the short about of time we get I enjoy. I know you enjoy the time with me.

We are prefect for each other. My heart belongs to someone I can’t have. He belongs to some one who he needs to take care of him. Some how in this crazy world and situation we find each other. Until my heart can reconnect with whom it belongs to. I will keep playing the Tom cat games.