Finally!!!

I don’t need to fake a smile, fake a laugh. I think at one point; I had real friends. It’s been so long since I felt I had friends. Every turn you took to hurt me. I came back with a smile. I believe some people feed off other’s pain. Even when I don’t like someone, I would never go out of my way to hurt them. It takes a special kind of person. I have lost friends before. I have never met someone who keeps breaking someone over and over again. I would smile through the pain. The emptiness I always felt. Yet, I came back for more. I would think maybe if I didn’t talk, you would stop trying to hurt me. That didn’t work. I would try to guess what happened to our friendship? What could I have done to make you not only hate me but destroy me? I still have no idea. At least the next time I see you. You will know no how I feel about you. Sadly losing you, I also lost some other friends. I hope they never get to see the evil side that I did.

It was odd some may have been upset when a friendship ends. I felt free! Free to tell how I felt for two years. Free that I will never painfully have to fake to like you. From now on, your just some person I used to know. You can’t hurt me anymore!

I just need you to know……

When I heard the news I just wanted to hear your voice. I just need to know your ok. There is no way for me to contact you. Trust me I tried every option. When you shut me out you boarded up the windows and the doors. I have held you so many nights while you cried. I can only image your pain now. Even though we have had zero contact in months. I think of you often. I may never ever speak to you again.  In my life I have lost a lot of friends. Losing you was the worst. We only new each other for a short amount of time. Some reason I just felt connected to you. I can only believe you did not feel the same. Since you were able to walk away from our friendship. My heart hurts for you, I just want to make sure your ok. I may never get my answer and that is something I have to live with. I can promise you, that if you pick up the phone in 2 years and call. I will answer. Friendships don’t expire. I connected with you the first time I met you. That I will never forget. Maybe just maybe you still follow my blogs. Most likely you do not. I believe when you cut me out of your life you cut every thing. Maybe some day you will read this and pick up the phone and I will answer. Till then I pray for you and your heart. I never nor will I ever forget about you. I just needed you to know…….