Big storm coming

I felt a big storm coming. I was scared. Felt like nothing before. I came to you. You were not there. I didn’t expect you to be. I mean I wanted you to call for me. I wanted you to hold me.

Thank God it was raining. It hid my tears. I was sad and scared, and all I wanted was you. When did I become weak that I needed you? Why did I want to be in your arms? Tomorrow, the sun will shine and I will be fine.

The storm is terrible, and you don’t look for me. What did I do to make you not care? I am used to this. It doesn’t make the pain hurt worse.

I realize I am just a cat. No one seems to care. It’s a cat. It will land on its feet. Who cares if it’s left out in the rain? I am used to this by now. I am strong. This storm has felt different than all the rest. For once, I was scared, and I wanted to be safe. I will have to find that on my own. I need to find my safe place.

A storm will pass. The sun will come out and tomorrow will be better. You don’t need someone to help you. Your journey is your own. You make your journey the way it is…….

Fat cat

So I hear someone say, look at that fat cat! I look around. Who are they talking about? I don’t see any other cats. Wait! They are talking about me! When did I become that fat cat?

Well, damn, no one wanted me when I was thin. Now, who would want a fat old cat? I was walking by a mirror, and I was like, who is that fat cat walking by me. OMG!!! That’s me! Well, damn, when did this happen? All these humans feed me all this yummy food. All these stupid Tom cats want the thin young kittys. Well what about us old fat cats?

I haven’t seen a Tomcat in so long! They are all chasing these young cats. I once was one of those cute thin kittys. I am chasing my forever. I am tired of running these streets alone. I’m tired and cold! Now I am this fat old cat. Who will ever take in this old fat cat? I miss my warm bed. I miss being with my forever.

I always wonder what I did to be left alone. What did I do so wrong? I have so much love to give. Time is running out. I may never be able to give it. I may have to travel this life alone.

I was so complete in your bed. Life just seemed right. You left me and made me live on the street. Life has never been right again. I never thought I could feel like I did with you. You just left me without any care. Do you care that I am out here all alone? I may never find you again. You need to know what you did by throwing me out.

I have gone to our old home. There are others there. They don’t like me. They say go away kitty. I just want to go back. I want to cuddle with you on the couch and watch a storm come in. I want to be inside and not the outside.

The fact I may never find my forever again. I hate being out here alone. I am sad fat old kitty. No one wants to take in. What did I do so wrong? I need to know so I never do it again.

I just need you to know……

When I heard the news I just wanted to hear your voice. I just need to know your ok. There is no way for me to contact you. Trust me I tried every option. When you shut me out you boarded up the windows and the doors. I have held you so many nights while you cried. I can only image your pain now. Even though we have had zero contact in months. I think of you often. I may never ever speak to you again.  In my life I have lost a lot of friends. Losing you was the worst. We only new each other for a short amount of time. Some reason I just felt connected to you. I can only believe you did not feel the same. Since you were able to walk away from our friendship. My heart hurts for you, I just want to make sure your ok. I may never get my answer and that is something I have to live with. I can promise you, that if you pick up the phone in 2 years and call. I will answer. Friendships don’t expire. I connected with you the first time I met you. That I will never forget. Maybe just maybe you still follow my blogs. Most likely you do not. I believe when you cut me out of your life you cut every thing. Maybe some day you will read this and pick up the phone and I will answer. Till then I pray for you and your heart. I never nor will I ever forget about you. I just needed you to know…….