Fat cat

So I hear someone say, look at that fat cat! I look around. Who are they talking about? I don’t see any other cats. Wait! They are talking about me! When did I become that fat cat?

Well, damn, no one wanted me when I was thin. Now, who would want a fat old cat? I was walking by a mirror, and I was like, who is that fat cat walking by me. OMG!!! That’s me! Well, damn, when did this happen? All these humans feed me all this yummy food. All these stupid Tom cats want the thin young kittys. Well what about us old fat cats?

I haven’t seen a Tomcat in so long! They are all chasing these young cats. I once was one of those cute thin kittys. I am chasing my forever. I am tired of running these streets alone. I’m tired and cold! Now I am this fat old cat. Who will ever take in this old fat cat? I miss my warm bed. I miss being with my forever.

I always wonder what I did to be left alone. What did I do so wrong? I have so much love to give. Time is running out. I may never be able to give it. I may have to travel this life alone.

I was so complete in your bed. Life just seemed right. You left me and made me live on the street. Life has never been right again. I never thought I could feel like I did with you. You just left me without any care. Do you care that I am out here all alone? I may never find you again. You need to know what you did by throwing me out.

I have gone to our old home. There are others there. They don’t like me. They say go away kitty. I just want to go back. I want to cuddle with you on the couch and watch a storm come in. I want to be inside and not the outside.

The fact I may never find my forever again. I hate being out here alone. I am sad fat old kitty. No one wants to take in. What did I do so wrong? I need to know so I never do it again.

If I cared….

While sober and cleared mind. I can tell you I don’t give a damn…

If I have I have ever told you I love you while not sober. Believe me it’s true. If I have ever cried about you while not sober. You are super important.

The sober Julie is broken. She cares for family and pets that’s all. They are the only ones never to hurt her.

Once asked if you had to leave right now what would you take. Easy my boys,pets, parents, and passports! That’s all. I have nothing that can’t be replaced. Is that sad at my age? Who the fucks knows. All I no I could care less about material shit. Judge me or not. I don’t give a shit really. I am at the point in my life. I am done sugar coding shit! You piss me off! You will no! To many times I have just let shit go! Nope not any more. I have nothing to lose and tons to gain.

If you are one of the many to fuck me over in my life. Well I am here to tell you fuck off! If you are one of them to say….You deserve so much better….fuck if I hear that line one more time in life….. I may just kick drop them.

Who the fuck are you tell me what I need! I need you! How many times I have sat there hearing this bs! I deserve so much better Bla Bla. Well guess what so much better isn’t knocking at my door. Because you thought I needed more then you. Please men stop using that line! It’s the worse. I was happy and you weren’t so…… I guess what your saying is you need some one better. This line is just like your a great fuck but I don’t want to date you. Am I sad fuck no! I love my life! Most do not understand my life. I don’t really care.

There are few people who I love . They have no idea. If I ever lost them in my life . It would it crush me more then I can handle. I have lost a few who I love so much. Just wishing even a text some day would make me smile. Not sober or sober the love I have for them is so strong! It will last years!

Wtf

I believe that men and I guess woman but I speaking as a woman so. Men should have to fill out an application before they get a date. I want reference!

Just because you buy dinner does not give you a pass to grope me! It’s not like a fucking down payment. Don’t think that if I hug you it means more.

I am nice and I hate conflict. I hate to be mean. So it makes it hard when some one does something that I don’t want. I have drove away from a groping date. Before I pull out I hit block. Is that right no! It’s not. I do what I hate when it’s done to me.

I have had some one tell me I am just not for them. It hurt worse then being blocked. The words hurt. It felt like just like when I was married. When he said I just don’t want you.

When I go on date and they ask me about my ex. I just say he fucked my best friend. Then the conversation is over. There is so much more but I will never talk about.

I have gotten to close to some. I told them my dark past. In there meanest they have used it against me.

I have no idea what has happened in this crazy world. Many days I just give up. I rather just stay single.

I have heard stories from my guy friends that woman are just as crazy. I could image that. Maybe we are all crazy became we have to deal with crazy ass men!!! Lol