My Heart

I told my heart to never love again. Nope. Never. If only it was that easy. How can you control your heart? I can not change it when it happens.

When you feel it, there is no stopping it. You can say, “Nope!” all day; “It’s not true!” when you feel it. The feeling is real. The love is there. When I am happy I want to tell you. When I am sad I want to tell you. I think about you all the time. The feeling is there and I just can’t stop my heart. I know the feeling is not received. That is ok. When I lay in your arms I feel safe. My heart feels healed. I just want to lay in your arms forever. It’s too soon to feel so safe. I just feel complete with you. I feel there are secrets that lie between us. When I am with you, they all disappear. The world just goes away and just you and I.

I have never felt this way before; safe and happy. The connection between us is so powerful that others have seen it for years. When I with you, I feel like nothing matters but us. I know you feel the power we have. I am at peace with you. I act tough like I don’t care, but I do. You have made me weak again. My heart has opened up. I can’t just close it.

Our future dreams are different and thought of you leaving me haunts me in my dreams. I tell my heart, “Do not love again!” but it won’t listen this time.

I remind my heart of the last loss we had and how it hurt so bad. I flash back to that scared girl crying on the floor, being left with nothing. Then I remember I became so strong after that.

I don’t know how much fight I have left in me and how many times my heart can get hurt. I must live for the moment, and not the future. Don’t worry what you can’t change. Enjoy what you have. Don’t cry about what might be

You know the saying, “Dance like there’s nobody watching, love like you’ll never be hurt, sing like there’s nobody listening”? If I had tattoo, that’s what it would be!

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